Monday, April 21, 2014

All about George

Erm, would it be controversial if I said the following...

I LOVE Prince George!

There, said it :-)

Well, he is not the only one, but that's another story.

I think it is fair to say that I adore little boys. They are a special group that I find fascinating. Perhaps it has come across in numerous posts I have written.
I also like little girls, of course, but I feel I know little girls more, having been one myself.

My utter fascination with little boys continues unabated.
I deny having Daddy or Mummy issues, but I may have 'little boy issues' :-)
Hm, is this some sort of reverse 'Oedipus complex' thing going on here?
Any psychiatrists out there? Your professional help is urgently needed over at The Sanctuary :-)

If I should go on to self-diagnose, or at least self-analyse, I would say that one of the traits of little boys that never fail to mesmerise me, is their amusing display of burgeoning masculinity that they either get amazingly right, or appallingly wrong, both scenarios being highly amusing in a sweet sort of way :-)
Equally amusing to watch a little girl twist Daddy round her little finger while you realise that 'this one's a pro'.

Utterly riveting to watch these little ones so frankly play out Nature's little games, and watch them become the adults they will one day be, right before our very eyes.

My history with this phenomenon goes way back.

From the toddler son of a friend who would stand (hands in pocket) looking up at the crucifix after Mass, surrounded by people begging God for favours, crawling about on their knees asking forgiveness, flagellating themselves in repentance (OK, OK, I exaggerate here!) this kid would give God 'the nod', you know, Joey style (as in 'Friends'):

So, Jesus, how are you doing today?

Priceless :-)

To this same kid when I used to babysit him telling me how we were going to spend our time together. (No, Auntie Spacetraveller, we are not sitting at home watching TV, we are going to the park and I am going at the swings, and you ain't yet seen the mother of all tantrums that I can pull off if you don't capitulate...)

Not so priceless ;-)

To two little brothers (sons of friends) insisting on showing Auntie Spacetraveller their little 'friends' when she was invited to dinner at their home one evening.
Yes, Auntie Spacetraveller has seen it all. And she wants her innocence back :-)

There is a spectrum of course. It's not all hilarious masculinity with little boys. There is also a vulnerability which is so touching, and which immediately detonates the 'aw' factor.
Who could resist Mark Lester's almost feminine baby face in 'Oliver', particularly this scene where he is singing 'Where is love' and you know he is torn between two impossibly unsavoury worlds - the Workhouse or the world of pickpockets, both of which would sooner chew him up and spit him out than show him love?
A veritable tear-jerker...


Back to Prince George ... being the introvert I am, I do not normally extol the virtues of extroverts. Um, except... free pass if you are a bonny little chappie, a prince to boot :-)

This kid can certainly pull off funny faces - I see a future in stand-up comedy as an aside to kinghood.
Now, quite unfairly, the British press already had a nickname for Bonny Prince George three weeks into his life.
A harsh one at that :-(

They called him 'HRH Grumpy' :-(
Apparently because he doesn't smile too much.
Not fair.

So he has an expressive face. Don't we want our future king to have an expressive face? Must we all be smiley all the time? Is that the new order of the day?

What's so grumpy about this face anyway? Why is it not pensive?

I mean, who put this ageing Spanish chick in charge of me? Whose idea was this? When I become king the first thing I will do is go to war with her country. Where are the hot Swedish au pairs? Why do kids of lesser status than My Royal Highness get better nannies than me? What's with that? Don't even get me started on the au pair thing. I ain't got none of that to even look at! And at my age, that 'pair' is actually vital to my survival, so don't judge me.

And they better not even be thinking about having me circumcised. Or I shall decree a circumcision of my own for whoever suggests it to my parents. It would be 'off with his head' quicker than you could say 'George Cambridge'.

Uncle Harry says 'aloof game' works every time. I think he's right. This New Zealand chick in front of me digs me. She might not be the only one. The one behind me has the hots for me too. Oooh I say, fetching headband, lady! Man, I own.

Yeah, I know he's 6 ft 4, but I am sure I could 'ave him!

That toy has my name written all over it. It's's mine...IT'S MINE! Get out the way, headband girl!

Who you looking at?

I think Prince George will be quite a character. His personality certainly seems to be a forceful one. Not a shy wallflower, this one :-)

I also think this:

The choice of nanny for him is a major turning point in British history. His nanny almost became a Catholic nun.
Nannies have a powerful role in the lives of their charges.
Prince George could become the first Catholic British King since Henry VIII's time.

You heard it here first!

And there could be all kinds of constitutional mayhem should he choose to become a Catholic priest.

Oh dear, my imagination is certainly running away with this one.

Time to stop :-)

What do you think of our future British king?
And what tributes for his great grandma whose 88th birthday it is today?

I'll start:

Happy Birthday Ma'am.
Thank you for your lifelong service to Britain and The Commonwealth and your dedication to both God, country and family.
Your long reign is already a record in our hearts and minds - to this end you don't really need to beat Queen Victoria's record of 63 years to be a winner for us.
You already are.

That your commitment to serving your country, devotion to your husband and steadfast faith in hard times and good will serve as a reminder to us all that there are goals to achieve - much bigger than our puny selves.

Happy birthday!

Um, if you are dishing out any extra honours on your Birthday Honours List, I just thought 'Lady Spacetraveller' might have a nice ring to it.

Just a thought :-)

Thursday, April 17, 2014

He went his own way

I promised John Lord B3 a post...

And I realise now that it coincides beautifully with another thought that has been on my mind a lot recently.

True confession: this Lent has been a poor one for me. I just couldn't 'settle' into the spirit of Lent as I usually do.
But it seems I peaked sharply in the last week or so.

Better late than never :-)

Tonight, the 'night of impending death' as I like to call it, otherwise known as 'Maundy' or 'Holy' Thursday, my thoughts turn to ... death.

Many years ago, on this night, Our Lord was pacing up and down the Garden of Olives, otherwise known as the Garden of Gethsemane, thinking about his impending death. He had just had a meal, washed the feet of a few of his closest friends...knowing one of them was going to condemn him to death, death by a kiss, the kiss of betrayal. He was imploring his friends to stay with him, watch with him, pray with him.
They were falling asleep, human as they were :-)


Some of my most introspective moments came at moments where I witnessed impending death. I have witnessed a few.

A number of them stick in my mind like a sore thumb.

It strikes me that the reason I have such vivid memories of these impending death situations is that they are moments of great honesty.
It all hangs out.
No holding back.

It is both beautiful and ugly.
It is both fascinating and frightening.
It is both strong and vulnerable.

A few months ago, I was chatting to an 89 year old man. I won't go into details, but he was near death. He knew it. I knew it.
With this particular man, the hilarious thing about his feelings about his illness/impending death was that it would interfere with his routine. It bothered him that the set-up he had carefully laid out all his life was about to be disrupted - not so much death itself but the bothersome illness and the 'caring' that would be foisted upon him against his will. It is not an exaggeration to state that he was more than a little peeved by it all. His attitude was only hilarious because it appeared that others cared more for his life than he did.

But I know different. At least now I do.
Thanks to my understanding of the MGTOW movement and its nuances, I am more open-minded than ever on the variations of life.

This man was a never-married man. He had a few siblings but his favourite of all was his 85 year old little sister who had several children and grandchildren. One of these grandchildren was a young man in his 20s with whom he was particularly close. This young man was his. He was his lad.
Of all his relatives, this was the one he felt the closest to. As he told me about this young guy, his eyes lit up and he was as animated as you could ever see an 89 year old be.

I remember distinctly the moment he told me he was a single man. He expected me to somehow show surprise that he had never married. I know this because he told me so.
It seems he had had a certain response (especially from women) all his life. He was used to it. He expected it so much that when I didn't react in this way, he felt the need to tell me.

He, of course was not to know that I had, um, had a 'special' education in this subject over the last few years, by way of strangers on the internet, lol.

He almost became apologetic. "I love my own company too much", he said to me by way of explanation. An explanation I really didn't need, but he wasn't to know this.
"I never felt close to any woman throughout my life. I was happy without one all these years. I had my garden, I like to read, potter about, you know..."
I knew.

"But there was always this pressure to find a wife and settle down."


"I was happy on my own, this is what no-one understands. I could have made some woman miserable."
Um, well, who knows...

"I have never felt lonely. I have loved my life. Now I am ill, they will force someone on me to 'care' for me. That is my worst nightmare."

I really understand this sentiment. This really is the introvert's worst nightmare.

"I have my lad. He comes round to see me. He is like a son to me. He is enough".

Good lad.

It is inexplicably important to me that I did not 'judge' this man in his last days...

So, John Lord B3, whilst I would not choose this man's lifetime solitude, I get why he chose his. And I bet he loved every minute of it.

There are people who do not choose a life of solitude - it is foisted upon them against their will, but they adapt to it.
Others have their own reasons for choosing what they choose.

I have thought and thought about the MGTOW movement since the moment I first heard of it. It has fascinated me and I have indulged my unquenchable curiosity ad nauseum.

But it takes someone's moment of impending death for me to see the humanity involved. So when you ask if I have a personal view of MGTOW, this is it.
A dying man's honest description of how he lived it.

I am not sure it can get any personal than that.

I have similar stories of two women who also lived the GTOW life until death. The nuances of their stories differ slightly, but there we are.

In the end, life will be lived. With or without our consent the moment we are born kicking and screaming into an unforgiving world.

The details of said life?
The devil is in the detail, as they say.

And with that, I bid everyone the holiest and happiest Easter ever.

The ultimate MGHOW?

Addendum 19/04/2014:

Saturday, April 5, 2014

Spacetraveller's law


The above is by no means akin to Newton's laws of motion or anything :-)

Just an observation that I have never seen broken, yet, although I expect there are exceptions that prove the rule...

About rules/laws/mandates, I find I quite like them. They are general 'guidelines' by which, when lived out, simplify life, rather than complicate it, which is what we do best as human beings. But I accept that there are limitations beyond which even the most useful rule does not help. Such is life.

I go off at a tangent again, but I think it is a good time to remind myself that sometimes, what we don't know, we mustn't fret about... because God knows. And somehow, He imparts the necessary detail to us should he choose to, and at the right time when we are most likely to be receptive to it.

This is my 'lesson of the day', LOL.

I just got back home from a walk. I came across a park which is also a cemetery for lost soldiers from the Second World War.

All the soldiers buried here are 'unknown'.
But what a great way this is expressed:

'Known to God'.

I was blown over by that description. On every single gravestone, there is a distinct absence of a name, rank, birthdate and deathdate. But all of these men (I presume they were men but of course it is just possible a few may have been women?) are 'known to God'.

'Unknown' to us, 'known to God'.
How lovely...

I somehow got the message that although it would have been lovely for us (and especially their grieving families and friends) to know who exactly these men were, somehow it is not crucial anymore - God knows their identities. That's enough. Case closed.

I have been back and forth to the UK in the last few months. I did promise John Lord B3 a post about a personal encounter regarding MGTOW, but as usual, my thoughts were derailed by something else I would like to share, and possibly discuss ad nauseum :-)

A new dating show in the UK, by the title 'Take me out' has been a source of great insights into todays' SMP for me. In many ways, it directly replicates a longstanding older one known as 'Blind date' presented by a lovely elderly lady known as Cilla Black.

I think the spirit of 'Take me out' is very different from 'Blind date' however, just by removing the element of 'parental presence' in the form of a woman who could jolly well be your mother :-). The presenter of 'Take me out' is a young man. Different and interesting vibe, but interesting all the same.

Yesterday, the 'old school' were temporarily back in town. A young Scottish man came on 'Take me out' not just with his Mum, but his ex-nursery school teacher (Mrs. H)! Why, you may ask...

His Mum thought his ex-nursery school teacher had the wisest opinion on girls, so each time it was time to 'vet' a girlfriend, he not only brought her to his Mum, he also took her to meet Mrs. H.

I think it's sweet, but I get why some may be annoyed that not just one woman but two women are meddling in this young man's business.
It should be mentioned that this man was complicit in Mum and Mrs. H's meddling though, just so you are aware :-).

Early on in the show, Mrs. H was asked which of the 30 girls she thought would be good for the young man. She picked a girl. He ended up picking that girl. And she made herself available to be picked by him.

I immediately got why Mrs. H picked the girl. She is the kind of girl that is perfect. Beautiful, little make-up (not 'glaring' like some of the other girls), nicely dressed, and very nice in personality. She was very likeable, and I hope she and the guy hit it off.

The whole episode reminded me of a saying I have mentioned here before.
Mrs. H may or may not be right about this girl. I really hope she is right, of course.

But choosing a wife is very much a man's business. And usually requires a male opinion, preferably an older male's, but also a contemporary, or even a younger man's would do. But of course, I now know that many men do not seek advice from anyone at all in matters that are private. I get that. I think women are much more 'help-seeking' than men in this regard. Fair enough - we are different creatures afterall...

But...if an opinion is welcome from a woman...
I have seen how a woman that the man trusts and respects can help a lot in this process. A mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, even a female friend.

This is what I am about to hijack as 'Spacetraveller's law': (um, excuse my delusions of grandeur...what I meant to write was 'an observation ST seems to make over and over again :-)

Where a trusted female who has a man's best interest at heart repeatedly declares that a woman he is romantically interested in is bad for him, she is almost always right.'

The collorary is, that where she says a woman is good for him, there is a 50/50 chance of her being right.

The importance of my observation is where she says she is bad for him.

Women seem to be really good at smelling out bad women where their sons/brothers/friends are concerned.
But perhaps not as accurate when deciding about a good woman.

In statistical terms, I think this is best expressed as 'negative predictive value'.

Has anyone come across instances where a mother says to her son: this woman is bad for you, son!' and she turns out to be the opposite?

(Note: I am not talking about a nasty mother - I mean a mother who really does love her son and wants the best for him - of which there are many more than not...).

As an aside, here is a little gem from a film: I am keeping up with a previous assignment of watching as many of the old films as I can get my hands on, and I enjoyed this one very much:

Here is an MGTOW from 1951's thoughts on marriage:

Marriage is slavery for the woman and prison for the man.


Where have I heard this before, especially the second part?

Interestingly, in this film, it was the father of the girl deciding that the man she was interested in was bad for her.
Girls should of course always listen to Daddy...
He is always right - about everything! That's ST's second law...

Friday, February 14, 2014


It being Valentine's Day and all (relax, fellas, I know you hate this day!!!) I looked into a popular Biblical verse associated with one San Valentino :-):

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

No, I haven't gone all 'bible basher' on you - I just wanted to explore the word 'love' from another angle (other than the noblest form of 'love' - caritas) in the context of Valentine's Day.

A funny thing happened, by the way - I suddenly realised that one cannot say 'I love you' to another unless one was prepared to say, in full, all of the following:

"I shall be patient with you, I shall be kind to you, I shall not envy you, I shall not boast, except of you, I shall not be prideful, except of you, I shall not dishonour you, I shall not be self-seeking over and above you, I shall try very hard not to anger you or be angered by you, I shall not keep score of your wrong-doings, I shall not delight in your failures, but celebrate with you in your success. I shall always protect your self-interest, I shall always trust you, I shall always have hope in you, and all of this will be longstanding."


Erm, all of a sudden, those three little words just became harder to say!

Anyway, I digress...

Interesting that the first of the 'love adjectives' is...patience.

Confession time: patience is the hardest virtue for me, personally.

In my nerdy days, I suddenly woke up one morning and decided I was not patient enough. Honestly, it was the weirdest (and to date, most honest) self-analysis I ever mustered.
Being a total nerd, I went to my mother and told her my diagnosis.
She said she already knew this about me.
I asked her how I could fix the problem.

She recommended embroidery.

A friend of mine was a very good embroider at the time. But she was too busy to teach me. She asked me to wait a week. I couldn't wait. I bought a book  and learned to embroider from the book.

To date, embroidery remains one of my best leisure activities. I now know why it cultivates patience. It takes me about 4 months to finish a piece. I really have to wait to see the finished product. No other way round it.

It is also a very feminine thing to do. I feel at my most feminine when I am embroidering something.
I don't get the same effect with sewing, household chores, even cooking.
All these are instant gratifiers - embroidery literally makes you wait.

I was thinking about patience when it comes to the SMP lately.

I wondered - in this world of 'instant gratification', whether fractious relationships are simply due to the parties involved just being too impatient?

Egged on by the morals of a 'throw away' society, no-one wants to wait for anything.

Is this the real problem underlying the high divorce rate? Because no-one wants to take time to cool down a bit?

Which of the sexes is more patient?

I see patience as being a 'feminine' virtue. But am I wrong about this? Do we women (I certainly had to be!) have to be taught to be patient? Or are we naturally patient?

And if we are naturally patient, are we being deprogrammed by modern life?

Modern life?

In this much publicised play/ballet, who was more impatient - the man or the woman? Whose impatience led to both their deaths?


Is this all that is required sometimes - just a little patience?
Surely that alone would solve a lot of SMP problems, no?

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Woman logic

The gentlemen who visit this blog have often declared that we women are not logical.
I happen to agree :-)

But I often find logic in funny places. Even (gasp) in women!

I know - my hamster thought it was 'logic'.
But at best, it was woman logic, which is not really logic as we know it...but some other beast dressed up as logic if you only saw it with the eye of faith.
Yes, I know.

Speaking of hamsters,
I was in the store the other day, trying to buy Deti's hamsterlator gadget. Delighted to spot that it contained the word 'Space', I thought I was entitled to some sort of discount...but the retailers would not hear of it. In response to my protestations, I was thrown out of the store by the burly security guards. Bruised and brazed, I tried to appeal  to the store manager...

My imagination is getting as bad as LFOD's in the last post...
But not in the same way, thankfully...

Dirty boys aside, I would like to examine 'woman logic'.

I have this disease, and I would like treatment, if not a cure :-)

It's time to poke fun at myself and my sisters.
We are big girls, we can take it.

If you gentlemen can find examples of how illogical women are to you, in your daily encounters with them, please log them here. I would be delighted to hear them. Indeed, I would be pleased if you can find examples of 'woman logic' on this very blog!
Honest, I would be happy to laugh at my 'woman logic' provided you yourself are more logical than me :-)

And, it would give us ladies a chance to see where we are going 'wrong'.

I get teased almost daily for my lack of logic in real life. Always by the same people :-) Sometimes, it is well deserved.  But there are times when I am genuinely surprised that I am deemed illogical.

But perhaps, it is a question of ignorance? Perhaps the examples you men provide will help me to see the light a little better?

I am going to take a slight detour...

I saw (for the first time ever!) the film 'The Nun's story' starring Audrey Hepburn.
I was awed by this film. Has anyone seen it?

The funniest part to me was this conversation between Sister Luke (Gabrielle van der Mal) and a native man in the Belgian Congo when she arrives as a young nun and nurse in the Belgian Congo in 1930 with a group of older nuns.

Man: So where are your husbands, you White Women?
Sr. Luke: What do you mean?
Man: You must have husbands, don't you?
Sr. Luke: Did you ask (Mother Superior) this question?
Man: Yes.
Sr. Luke: And what did she say?
Man: She said you are all married to the same man. But I don't believe her. It is wrong for a man to have many wives. You White people keep telling us that. I can understand the others not having a husband, but you, you are young and beautiful. You must have a husband!
Sr. Luke (smiling): Actually, I do have a husband. But he is in heaven.
Man: Oh, I am so sorry, Sister Luke. I am so sorry for your loss.


That alpha dude, Jesus. He has a lot to answer for :-)

The native man was being perfectly logical, no?
But Christianity is not particularly a logical religion in the cold light of day...

But still, we love it, don't we...

The nun's story is a very sad film. When in the very last scene, she is disrobing, taking off her 'wedding' ring, getting back into her old clothes, it must have felt like a divorce.
A catholic woman (a nun, no less! a bride of Christ!) divorcing that alpha dude, Jesus!
No cure for hypergamy.

The particular woman logic I want to examine briefly is this woman's logic.

On the surface of it, she is seriously dumb.

But I beg to differ.

This kind of 'brake' on someone's actions is exactly what we need in our modern world. Especially for women.
If we stop to think, just for one minute, that certain actions are permanent, much like death, we would be better off.

Too many of us do things because they feel good at the time. We don't stop to think about the long-term consequences. It doesn't matter how far in the process we have gone. Something, must be in place to take us back.

That something could be shame.
It could be fear of getting caught.
It could be our own innate self-discipline.
It could be the effort it takes to go through with it.
It could be the financial cost it takes to go through with it.
It could be 'fear of the unknown'.

Too many modern women are egged on with bravado to go through with something that could be disastrous. Like divorce. Like taking a man away from his children.

This woman used her 'woman logic', dumb as it may seem to many of us, to say to herself: Oh my God, this is forever. I must stop. And who are these people who encouraged me to go through with this when they knew it would kill my marriage forever? They must be stopped...

I accused 'Anonymous' in the last post of being rather rigid, when it comes to women and hugs.
Perhaps I (kettle) am guilty of calling pot black.

I am either deeply respectful of great women (Augustina who inspired the caritas post), or I am deeply turned off by others (JLB3's example in the same post).
No neutral for me :-)

This woman ticks the 'respect to you' box. Despite seeming incredibly stupid. I'll take stupid if she keeps her vows.

Deti's hamsterlator would find a different interpretation for this woman's thought processes. But I shall stick to my version for now. Unless someone logically knocks me off my high horse.

Basically, what I am saying is, not all 'woman's logic' is like that :-)
Anyone even hesitantly agree?

Or is my own 'woman logic' getting in the way?

Let's pick at 'women's logic' and see where it takes us.
Perhaps a lot of you men have a problem with how women think. Perhaps we women don't 'get' you, which is why we seem to do strange and illogical stuff.
Here's a chance to clear the air...

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Yo Bro!

You gentlemen are strange creatures.

Hahahahahahaha, in the nicest possible sense, of course.

Today, I have a pink hat firmly on. No man-goggles. No seeing it from your point of view. I am all-woman, oestrogen, warts and all :-)

I was at a gym yesterday. No, not a New Year's resolution as such, just normal routine :-)

I was highly amused by a sighting of two men greeting each other.

They were two muscular guys (I think the term is 'beefcakes'?)
And no, I most definitely wasn't ogling.

I wasn't!

They were in my field of vision, OK?

The only reason I spotted the rippling pecs and bulging biceps is that they had somehow crossed over into my direct field of vision. I had been looking straight ahead, minding my own business, in a 'tunnel' of my own making and all...



Anyhow, despite being of different races, they greeted each other with 'Yo bro'.
I didn't think they were genetic brothers, no :-)

Then they did this inverted handshake thing, and then whilst maintaining this handshake, they 'bumped' right shoulder to right shoulder. I could hear this bump, frankly it seemed painful, but these guys didn't seem to feel any pain. Manwhile I was wincing.

And they did all this in like, 3 seconds, all without eye contact.

They then parted company as each went in search of some weights to pump.

This is not the first time I have seen men greet each other in a way that makes me want to laugh out loud. It is so cute to watch (at least by a woman).

Are you men amused at the way women greet each other?

Come on, fess up! We won't be offended :-)

Perhaps a description of how I greet my own best friend may help.

I hadn't seen her for about two months.

I met up with her recently. As I spotted her among a crowd as she made her way towards me at our appointed venue, I immediately noticed she was wearing new boots.

Maintaining eye contact as she approached me, we hugged so tightly I couldn't be sure how legal it was :-) We maintained this hug for well over a minute.

Then I stepped away to admire her new boots for the best part of two minutes, then she looked me over and complimented me on some random feature of my physical being (I forget what). Then we hugged again, and stroked each other's shoulders/arms/backs in light touches whilst taking past each other at the rate of a thousand words a minute...


If anyone thinks I am exaggerating....

I am not.

I describe it exactly as I recall it.

But it does sound like a caricature of women's greeting, doesn't it?

The thing is, it feels so good.

Do you guys get this sense of 'it feels good' when you do your 'fist bumps' and 'chest bumps' (like the basketball players do) and your inverted handshake greetings?

To you, is it necessary for it to 'feel good'?
I can tell you that from this side of the fence, we definitely do it for the 'feel good factor'!


I love forms of greetings. They are my guilty pleasure.

In some parts of the world, a simple 'hi' just won't do. People spend a good ten minutes just saying 'hi'. I kid you not.

I once watched a documentary where two women were timed just exchanging simple pleasantries. It took just over eight minutes. Eight minutes!

It went something like this:

How are you?

Good, how are you?

Great. How are the kids?

They are fine. How is your husband?

He is well, how is your Mum? Has she recovered from her operation yet?

Oh yes, she is walking again now. And the party? How's that coming on?

Oh, yes, she is looking forward to it. We haven't got the cake yet. She says she's too grown up now to have a cake with thirteen candles on it...

And so on.

After everyone had been accounted for in the greeting, then they started talking about what they had actually met up for.

Hahahahahaha, so amusing...

I understand the need to keep your distance even when you are greeting your nearest and dearest, gentlemen. It is something I admire, because I cannot do it myself.

But do you feel the need to be like this in all your close encounters with your fellow fellas? Is this some code of manhood or something?

My friend and I regularly invade each other's privacy. We have no real boundaries.

I 'get' that a lot of men would recoil in horror at that. I understand.

What happens when a rather tactile woman hugs you like she would a fellow female?
Would you tolerate it ('well, she's just a female, she's not dangerous afterall, besides it's rather nice' :-)
Or do you hate it when this happens ('get off me, woman!')

Please do share!

What do you think of the Obamas' 'fistbump'?
Is this a normal 'form of greeting' between a couple?
Or is it a case of 'whatever floats their boat'?

Why do basketball players jump up and bump chests?
Is this a 'beating my chest, but even better if my buddy does it for me' thing?
We women could never do this. It would be a physically painful experience :-)
Even for the less endowed among us :-)

But we sometimes do the 'bump hips' thing.
I have never seen men bump hips - why is this?
Could a man explain this to me?

Anyone use the 'rub noses' form of greeting?
Is it cute or infection-prone? :-)

What about the kiss on the mouth between parents and children?

Why is a 'firm handshake' a good thing?

Tell all about your preferred (or not!) forms of greeting!

Not sure why this interests me, but it does :-)

Sunday, January 5, 2014

This Caritas business, what it mean?

Happy New Year, everyone!

At Mass today, I was reminded that today is the feast of the Epiphany.
The priest said 'epiphany' means  a 'reveal' or a 'disclosure' and then launched into a long-winded explanation as to the relevance of this to the time around Jesus' birth when he was visited by the Three Wise men.

He lost me shortly after the gold, frankincense and myrrh bit...

Anyhow, I realise that I got me Three Wise men from the East on this very blog!

Yes I do!

Let's see...
I got me John Lord B3 from the East (of the world).
I got me Metak from the East (of Europe).

Um...who else?

If you are a man, and you live in the east of the world, or the east of your continent, or the east of your city, or the east of your street, or your bedroom in your house faces east, let me know and you will get the third 'Wise man' slot - no questions asked.


One of our resident magi sent me this in the last post: This is an excerpt from another wise man commenting on a wise woman's actions.

"..So much in Augustina’s moving post.

Not many people can see the distinction between the types different types of love; conflating, love, lust and affection, yet the problem of love is at the core of our modern malaise.

Clearly, Augustina’s husband did not give her the “tingles” and yet she’s stuck with him through thick and thin, and despite his obvious faults. Indeed, his lack of alpha qualities put a strain on their marriage. Rollo? It wasn’t self interest there, it was concern for her husband.

A point of theological reflection. Does a husband’s failure to cultivate alpha qualities (executive function) put the marriage in danger of divorce? For a different post perhaps?

Secondly, the type of love that Augustina expressed for her husband is not the stuff that you can get from Game. That love, which goes by the theological name of Caritas, is something a person gives, independently of the quality of the other. It’s a supernatural gift from God. In looking for a wife, I’d advise my boys to look for a girl who posses this quality pretty much above all else. Sluts, hot sex and “wuv” come and go, but Caritas stays. Caritas loves you when you are unlovable and gameless.

Rollo Says that a woman can never love a man like he would want her to, but Augustina’s example(and lots of other women I know) proves him wrong. The love/caritas of a good woman is one of God’s gits to man. My wife does not give me everything I want, but it’s not because she doesn’t want to, it’s because she knows that its the wrong thing for me. It’s taken me many years to realise this and that’s why she’s a keeper. She’s looking after me.

That’s the paradox of a happy Christian marriage. The Christian wife, in order to be happy, has to know that her husband has real options but won’t exercise that ability because because her loves her. On the other hand, a good Christian wife can be miserable in a marriage yet still stick to her husband because she possesses Caritas.

God’s peace, Augustina.."

Further down that thread, someone else did what I love to do, which is to do a little philological research on the word 'Caritas'. This definitely brought out my geeky side :-)

I tried this in previous threads when I dissected the roots of the words 'mercy' and 'pity', and 'privacy' and 'intimacy'.
Bellita once alerted me to the relationship between 'curriculum' and the italian verb 'correre' (to run), as in 'curriculum vitae' being a 'run-through' of one's life.

My nerdy side is preparing to go to town on this one :-)

As the commenter downthread explained, 'Caritas' is etymologically related to the word 'charity', and also to the word 'care'.

But what does 'Caritas' mean in English, as related to the SMP?

True love?
Tough love?


There is a word I am familiar with, in another language, which I suspect means something very similar to 'Caritas'. As far as I can tell, it encompasses compassion, affection, tenderness, empathy and love.

From a purely religious viewpoint, the Catholic one to be precise, 'where there is Caritas (i.e. charity) and love, there is God' as the TaizĂ© hymn goes:

Ubi caritas et amor, Deus ibi est:

The commenter was talking specifically about the kind of 'Caritas' that a woman can give to her husband, or that a woman can give to a man who is 'unlovable and gameless'.
Men too can be 'Caritas' givers, of course.

Or is male love a different thing from 'Caritas'?
Why do I get this sneaky feeling that 'Caritas' is more a feminine type of love?
Is there a good basis for this 'feeling' of mine?

What does this Caritas look like?

Is this 'self-giving', even 'selfless' love? As opposed to 'selfish' love?
Can it even be described as 'love'?

Can it be induced by Game? Or is it completely independent of both Boy Game and Girl Game?
If you are a man, and there was a choice between a woman being attracted to you, would you rather that, than her giving you 'Caritas' as 'Augustina's love for her husband seems to be?

What does 'Caritas' really mean?

Other than the examples given above in 'Wise man's' comment, could anyone give me good descriptions of 'Caritas'?

The more practical, the better! The more anecdotal, the better!