Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Yo Bro!



You gentlemen are strange creatures.


Hahahahahahaha, in the nicest possible sense, of course.


Today, I have a pink hat firmly on. No man-goggles. No seeing it from your point of view. I am all-woman, oestrogen, warts and all :-)


I was at a gym yesterday. No, not a New Year's resolution as such, just normal routine :-)


I was highly amused by a sighting of two men greeting each other.


They were two muscular guys (I think the term is 'beefcakes'?)
And no, I most definitely wasn't ogling.


I wasn't!


They were in my field of vision, OK?


The only reason I spotted the rippling pecs and bulging biceps is that they had somehow crossed over into my direct field of vision. I had been looking straight ahead, minding my own business, in a 'tunnel' of my own making and all...


Honest!


:-)






Anyhow, despite being of different races, they greeted each other with 'Yo bro'.
I didn't think they were genetic brothers, no :-)


Then they did this inverted handshake thing, and then whilst maintaining this handshake, they 'bumped' right shoulder to right shoulder. I could hear this bump, frankly it seemed painful, but these guys didn't seem to feel any pain. Manwhile I was wincing.


And they did all this in like, 3 seconds, all without eye contact.


They then parted company as each went in search of some weights to pump.










This is not the first time I have seen men greet each other in a way that makes me want to laugh out loud. It is so cute to watch (at least by a woman).


Are you men amused at the way women greet each other?


Come on, fess up! We won't be offended :-)




Perhaps a description of how I greet my own best friend may help.


I hadn't seen her for about two months.


I met up with her recently. As I spotted her among a crowd as she made her way towards me at our appointed venue, I immediately noticed she was wearing new boots.


Maintaining eye contact as she approached me, we hugged so tightly I couldn't be sure how legal it was :-) We maintained this hug for well over a minute.


Then I stepped away to admire her new boots for the best part of two minutes, then she looked me over and complimented me on some random feature of my physical being (I forget what). Then we hugged again, and stroked each other's shoulders/arms/backs in light touches whilst taking past each other at the rate of a thousand words a minute...




Hahahahahahahahaha!


If anyone thinks I am exaggerating....


I am not.


I describe it exactly as I recall it.


But it does sound like a caricature of women's greeting, doesn't it?




The thing is, it feels so good.




Do you guys get this sense of 'it feels good' when you do your 'fist bumps' and 'chest bumps' (like the basketball players do) and your inverted handshake greetings?


To you, is it necessary for it to 'feel good'?
I can tell you that from this side of the fence, we definitely do it for the 'feel good factor'!


:-)






I love forms of greetings. They are my guilty pleasure.


In some parts of the world, a simple 'hi' just won't do. People spend a good ten minutes just saying 'hi'. I kid you not.


I once watched a documentary where two women were timed just exchanging simple pleasantries. It took just over eight minutes. Eight minutes!


It went something like this:


How are you?


Good, how are you?


Great. How are the kids?


They are fine. How is your husband?


He is well, how is your Mum? Has she recovered from her operation yet?


Oh yes, she is walking again now. And the party? How's that coming on?


Oh, yes, she is looking forward to it. We haven't got the cake yet. She says she's too grown up now to have a cake with thirteen candles on it...


And so on.


After everyone had been accounted for in the greeting, then they started talking about what they had actually met up for.


Hahahahahaha, so amusing...








I understand the need to keep your distance even when you are greeting your nearest and dearest, gentlemen. It is something I admire, because I cannot do it myself.


But do you feel the need to be like this in all your close encounters with your fellow fellas? Is this some code of manhood or something?


My friend and I regularly invade each other's privacy. We have no real boundaries.


I 'get' that a lot of men would recoil in horror at that. I understand.


What happens when a rather tactile woman hugs you like she would a fellow female?
Would you tolerate it ('well, she's just a female, she's not dangerous afterall, besides it's rather nice' :-)
Or do you hate it when this happens ('get off me, woman!')


Please do share!










What do you think of the Obamas' 'fistbump'?
Is this a normal 'form of greeting' between a couple?
Or is it a case of 'whatever floats their boat'?


Why do basketball players jump up and bump chests?
Is this a 'beating my chest, but even better if my buddy does it for me' thing?
We women could never do this. It would be a physically painful experience :-)
Even for the less endowed among us :-)


But we sometimes do the 'bump hips' thing.
I have never seen men bump hips - why is this?
Could a man explain this to me?






Anyone use the 'rub noses' form of greeting?
Is it cute or infection-prone? :-)


What about the kiss on the mouth between parents and children?


Why is a 'firm handshake' a good thing?


Tell all about your preferred (or not!) forms of greeting!


Not sure why this interests me, but it does :-)












































































10 comments:

Bob Wallace said...

I shake hands. Occasionally a young kid will do that fist-bump thing

You probably don't know this, but a fair number of the guys in gyms, who do the body-building to excess....are gay. It's narcissistic. Usually they work on the arms and chest but have scrawny legs.

metak said...

Had to remove my first comment because my little ASCII 'art' wouldn't show properly... :-)

"But we sometimes do the 'bump hips' thing.
I have never seen men bump hips - why is this?
Could a man explain this to me?"


Men, broader shoulders, women, broader hips... ??

Athletes do all kinds of things when they're having a good time playing. :-)

@ Bob

Ron White fan?

Anonymous said...

If a beautiful woman hugs me I get aroused. If not I am repulsed.

Ceer said...

@ Bob Wallace

Here you go on the attack again. Does it make you feel better to belittle others?

I may not approve of the moral condition of those who describe themselves as gay, but I'll say one thing they have going for them...the average homosexual stays in better shape than the average man.

@ Spacetraveller

Hypergamy goggles says dollars to donuts you wouldn't have noticed an unattractive man walking by and doing the same thing.

Male/male hugs have an unwritten rule that they should be short. My guess is this is a cultural requirement relating to hypermasculinity expected from young men today.

During a handshake, two men who have an emotional bond can hug, right shoulder to right shoulder, patting the other's back with the left hand. Two pats limit.

One could write an entire post on this. It seems young women require hypermasculinity in all the ways that are shallow or selfish, while at the same time punishing men for going for a lasting relationship.

Anyway...back to male greetings. The firm handshake is oftentimes used as a first indicator of a man's frame. There are many subtleties a man will pick up on instantly.

1) A weak handshake implies apathy, lack of physical strength, and/or submission

2) A strong handshake implies assertiveness, domination, try-hardness, and/or

3) Grabbing the other person's fingers telegraphs you are a douchebag. Could be intentional disrespect or carelessness.

4) Grabbing the other person's palm telegraphs trustworthiness or willingness to play by rules.

5) Tilting the palm up is a sign of submission.

6) Tilting the palm down is a sign of dominance.

7) Putting up your left hand to cup the other person's hand is a sign of dominance or approval seeking.

8) A squeeze in the middle of a handshake (as added to constant pressure) is a sign of affection.

Keep in mind that a handshake lasting two seconds may undergo several shifts in orientation and pressure.

Men are physical in nature. We often hear something along the lines of "a man should have a firm handshake". We feel these subtleties without explicitly thinking whereas women are often unaware of them.

As a kid, I used to rub noses with my dad. Over time we stopped, but I don't know why. A date told me she'd never heard of nose rubbing when I tried it on her.

I've never told anyone this, but as a show of love, I prefer this to a mouth kiss. I've never had a mouth kiss that I actually enjoyed for its own sake.

Fistbumps should be a male/male greeting. They're cute when pickup artists do them with women, but only because it's out of place. Think of them as a less formal handshake that contains less information.

As a man, whether or not I feel anything during a fist bump is dependent on what I feel for that particular person.

Obama fist bumped? Why should I care?

Men do occasionally come up with unique greetings. Have you ever heard the term "secret handshake"? The weightlifter's chest bump is similar to this.

Anonymous said...

Women, (ST), you think & talk too much..just kidding

I rarely see this sort of Female/Female greeting, more often than not it is the shallow public performance of 2 women awkwardly running toward each other with arms outstretched followed by a non contact hug & mutual "air kiss" on each cheek.

FD

Live Free or Die said...




I hadn't seen her for about two months.


I met up with her recently. As I spotted her among a crowd as she made her way towards me at our appointed venue, I immediately noticed she was wearing new boots.


Maintaining eye contact as she approached me, we hugged so tightly I couldn't be sure how legal it was :-) We maintained this hug for well over a minute.


Then I stepped away to admire her new boots for the best part of two minutes, then she looked me over and complimented me on some random feature of my physical being (I forget what). Then we hugged again, and stroked each other's shoulders/arms/backs in light touches whilst taking past each other at the rate of a thousand words a minute...



(continued)

We then pulled back a bit from our embrace and looked each other in the eyes. Our heads slowly inched towards each other. I tilted my head to the right and she did the same. I closed my eyes. Our lips brushed each other and we began passionately kissing. It was like time stood still.

A few minutes passed and I remembered that we were still out in public. I pulled back suddenly and a large crowd of people stood around us watching. My best friend and I both blushed. I grabbed her hand and hurried her off to my house.

I invited her in and we tore each others clothes off. We then preceded to have lesbian 69 sex.

Spacetraveller said...

Bob,

Shake hands? That's it?
:-)

Yes, I heard about the gay thing. Not sure how true it is though...

Metak,

Interesting theory!
It makes sense for each sense to 'bump' the body part that is important to them, i.e. that is a signal of their 'inity', so for men, the broad shoulder thing signals to women that he is strong (high level masculinity), and for women, having wide hips signals her fertility (high level femininity)...I can see that now. Thanks for that. I suppose for women, bumping chests wouldn't make sense because it would be painful, and for men, bumping hips would look a bit gay :-)

Um, who is Ron White?

Anonymous,

No 'in-between' for you? No middle ground?
:-)
You are either 'on' or 'off'?

Ceer,

Oh wow, I never knew there was so much 'protocol' in male greetings! I feel like there is this whole world of masculinity that has been hidden from me all my life!
Thanks VERY MUCH for sharing!

For sure, I think you are right that homosexual men mostly take good care of their bodies, or at least they are known for that.

Um, Ceer, I can't help but agree on one level that if it had been 2 unattractive men greeting each other, I wouldn't have noticed. True enough!

But I have to say, I am (personally) not at all visual. This is true. (I am an auditory person).
I only noticed these two men because of what they were DOING,
which fascinated me because it is so different from what women do, in general. So yes, I noticed because they were doing a very masculine thing, which is foreign to my feminine world, and so I was mesmerised by it.
It wasn't so much their physical appearance which caught my eye. Remember I was in a gym, and most of the men there are long-timers, so they all look very muscular! The place is teeming with beefcakes :-) Um, that's NOT why I go though. I go for my own fitness (cough, cough!)

Hey, you are also a nose rubber? Other than eskimoes, I think you and I are probably the only ones who are willing to admit on a public forum that there is something rather special about nose-rubbing!
LOL!

I never the term 'secret handshake'. But I can see now that there IS a whole secret world surrounding handshakes :-)
Wow, this is very interesting!

FD,

Well, it seems it WAS a good thing to overthink the form of greeting thing :-)
Otherwise I wouldn't have learned as much as I have about this.
The 'air kiss' thing you describe is probably uniquely American. I only see this in Hollywood films. We don't do this in the UK or Europe, or anywhere else in the world I have been to, I must say.

I agree that it looks very 'artificial' and I think it is actually done between women who are not really that close to each other at all...


LFOD,

Hahahahahahahaha!
Talk about an overactive imagination!
I think you may have seen one unsavoury film too many :-)

It is unusual that I get into what I would term 'emotional crossroads territory'.

I honestly don't know whether to feel disgusted or amused.

Bravo for confusing my emotional central headquarters :-)

metak said...

"Um, who is Ron White?"

If I'm not mistaken, Bob is using a picture of him as avatar in his first comment.

He's a stand up comedian/actor from Texas.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_White

Spacetraveller said...

Metak,

Ah, I see :-)

Anonymous said...

I can't help but construe intimate touching from a woman as sexual. That's the way my body works.

Likewise considering I do not relate to women at all being a man and all(no female friends so far). I usually prefer to hang out with the men cos they don't have the undercurrent of the crabbasket passive-aggressive dynamic. I have their back and they have mine.

I had girls accuse me of being a pervert in public school and getting in trouble for it. Yep and even accused me of saying rape,rape,rape in threatening the girls. I got in trouble for that too. And where I go the girls run away.

So girls. I view them either sexually or they are invisible generally.